Why Create a Personal Framework?
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. — Annie Dillard
Let's start with some big questions:
What kind of person do you want to become?
When you are at the end of your life, what kind of experiences do you want to look back on?
What do you want your relationships with other people to be like?
What's on your bucket list?
What kind of difference in this world do you hope to have made with your life?
What kinds of people are role models for you, what types of people do you look at and say, "I want to live a life like that"?
Now, let's turn to some seemingly little but often vexing questions:
When are you done for the day with chores or work around your home?
When are you done for the day — or the week — with tasks or work related to your job or career?
What do you do for fun?
What do you do to relax?
When do you know when you have enough of something, not too much, but not too few: anything from coffee cups to phone apps, to visits with friends? What's the sweet spot for all that?
A personal framework is based on a monastic religious practice called a “rule of life.”
But what’s so different — and helpful — about this practice? I think this quote sums it up very well:
The ancient monastic tradition called a “rule” offers a simple, compelling way to set boundaries. In monastic communities, a rule represents a voluntary commitment to do and not do particular things. It is a decision, made in a time of clarity, that helps guide choices the rest of the time. Rules turn intentions into specific commitments, commitments into actions, actions into habits and habits into a way of life. — Jedd Medefind
It is about making decisions, in a time of relative peace and clarity, about how you will go about your life.
At its most basic, a personal framework is:
a written list of your values and principles
related to your various roles in life
which you then refer to as you plan and carry out your schedule and to-do lists
and regularly review to make sure that what you spend your time and energy on is aligned with what's most important to you.
The practice of a rule of life (also simply called a "rule") — in other words, a community framework — comes from the Christian monastic tradition. Some of these frameworks have been continuously used and revised for over a thousand years and are still in use today. Because these frameworks are meant to be liveable, they get updated regularly.
Like yoga and meditation, just as you don't have to be Hindu to practice yoga or to be Buddhist to practice meditation, you don't have to be Christian to create and keep a personal framework.
What you do need is a life philosophy with which to craft your framework.
You have to know — or make an effort to come to know — the kind of person you want to be in this world. And in light of those decisions, you regularly evaluate how your work and living habits either help you get there, or make it more challenging to become the person you hope to be, and to live the kind of life you hope to live.
What you decide about the kind of person you want to become is the core of your personal framework. Your framework then becomes a holistic way to order every other aspect of your life, if you choose to do so. A framework is meta-organizing: it organizes your productivity and organizing practices. It focuses and hones them. Your framework helps you prioritize how you manage your time, resources, and surroundings because it gives you your “how” and your "why."
Traditional rules of life addressed both aspirational matters like values and principles, as well as mundane issues, such as cleaning the community kitchen.
But some individual practitioners write down a list of principles and commitments, that they regularly review. That works, too.
Keeping a personal framework will give you great clarity. It’s not just about the big-picture stuff, but can influence things like your morning routine or how often to clean the bathroom, if you choose to apply it that far. What is helpful about going to that level, if you prefer, is the peace of mind you get from knowing when you have worked enough; when you are done for the day.
If you want to look back on a life well-lived, your framework will help you get there. If you know that the way you manage your time and organize your surroundings integrates with what you care about the most, it becomes much simpler to decide:
what to do,
what to ditch,
and when enough is enough.
Want to give it a go? Here’s my quick guide to making your own personal framework.
References
Annie Dillard, The Writing Life, 1. ed., 11. print (New York, NY: HarperPerennial, 1995).
Jedd Medefind, “Here’s the Best Thing You Can Do for Your Life in 2017,” Washington Post, December 30, 2016, sec. Acts of Faith Opinion, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts‐of‐faith/wp/2016/12/30/heres‐the‐best‐thing‐you‐can‐do‐for‐your‐life‐in‐2017/. Accessed June 27, 2018