Don’t Hold a Job, Hold an Office Instead
Organizing your life around your values means you first need to articulate those values.
Just as it’s hard to plan for a vacation without writing anything down, it’s hard to live by your values if you keep them all in your head.
To go on vacation, you refer to written resources to keep yourself on track: calendars, plane tickets, reservations.
Writing down your values also keeps you on track, to become the kind of person you aspire to be.
The system I use to record my values and organize myself is what I call a personal framework, based on written guidelines called “rules of life,” that monastic communities have used to organize themselves for at least 1,500 years. We all need systems to keep us on track.
Since most of us won’t join a monastic community, I write here about adapting that ancient practice for individuals.
We either shape shared reality by living our values out; or our values just float around in our heads as fuzzy good intentions, like milkweed seeds that never hit soil.
But putting your values into words that live outside your head, words you can read and re-read to keep yourself on track, is hard!
To learn how to do this, we can draw on another ancient practice for guidance and strength: the swearing (or affirming) of oaths, and the making of vows.
What Are Oaths and Vows?
Oaths and vows articulate values that are intended to be lived out.
They do not articulate philosophies; they articulate your commitments.
Oaths and vows are often made in public. They affirm accountability. They include witnesses.
Oaths and vows are freely given, not compelled.
Since oaths and vows are voluntary promises, they must be made by people who are in their right minds when they make them. If I am officiating at a wedding, and the bride or groom shows up drunk, I am duty-bound to refuse to officiate. You can’t make a vow if you are incapacitated.
Oaths and vows include promises of loyalty to something or someone other than oneself (e.g. a spouse, the U. S. Constitution).
Oaths and vows traditionally also include the invocation of a deity: the one who swears or affirms the oath is accountable not only to other people for keeping the oath; but accountable to the ultimate source of the values behind the oath.
Oaths and vows are relational.
Sometimes the relationship is between the deity / ultimate source of value, 3:00 a.m. You, and Future You (“I swear I’ll never do THAT again!”).
Sometimes the relationship is between the deity, Present You, Future You, and a spouse.
And sometimes the promises in an oath bind you in relationship to dozens, hundreds, thousands, or even millions of people depending on you living out the values you speak aloud in the oath: think of the Hippocratic oath (doctors), ordination vows (clergy), law enforcement and military oaths, oaths of political leaders, oaths of witnesses in hearings and trials.
“I swear…”
Oaths can be life-giving, or they can be deadly.
Deadly oaths inflate loyalty into blind obedience, and shrink or even erase codes of conduct*. Deadly oaths tend to swear unlimited allegiance to particular people or groups, rather than upholding particular principles.
For a life-giving oath, the ends do not justify the means. For a deadly oath, it’s the opposite: anything goes, as long as it is “loyal” to the leader or the cause.
Examples of Oaths and Vows
Here are two examples of oaths (vows), which show the elements of responsible public oaths:
they include accountability
they include a code of conduct
they are freely given
Marriage vows:
“I take you, ________, to be my wife/husband. I promise before God and these witnesses to be your faithful husband/wife, to share with you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to forgive and strengthen you, and to join with you so that together we may serve God and others as long as we both shall live.” (Bushkofsky and Satterlee 2008, p 204)
A U.S. Army officer’s oath:
"I, _____ (SSAN), having been appointed an officer in the Army of the United States, as indicated above in the grade of _____ do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office upon which I am about to enter; So help me God."
Writing Your Own Vows
For interesting theological reasons beyond the scope of this essay, when a couple gets married in the church, they are the ministers; and the pastor or priest is the chief witness.
Often couples choose to write their own vows.
Since most people rarely write oaths or vows, part of my job is to provide guidance toward that.
A seminary professor emphasized that when it comes to writing marriage vows, you cannot make promises about your future feelings. You can promise to treat someone with respect, to share with them — these come down to actions, behaviors. You either do, or do not, treat your partner with respect. But you can’t promise what your feelings will be.
“You will not always feel romantic love toward your spouse,” he said. “So you can’t promise that. Sometimes you will look at your spouse, and ask yourself, ‘What were we thinking?’”**
Feelings change like the weather. The promises in vows are about behaviors; actions.
Action verbs in the oaths above include: “share,” “forgive,” “strengthen,” “join,” “serve,” “support,” “defend.”
If you have sworn oaths of office or made vows, it is a good idea to memorize them.
If your memory is as bad as mine, print them out so you can remind yourself of those commitments. Any oaths or vows you are currently bound by, are definitely part of your personal framework.
Turn the Job You Do, into an Office that You Hold
A few professions and life roles like the ones discussed above, come with oaths and vows; but most do not.
What if you thought of your jobs and your roles in life as offices, where you make vows or affirm an oath of office? Like the office of the President, the office of a bishop, the office of a senator?
If you had to be sworn in to do what you do, what loyalties and actions would you commit to, by a public vow or oath?
What might an oath of office include for:
a parent
a software engineer
a small business owner
a photographer
a voter
a farmer
a user of social media
a receptionist
a carpenter
a manager
a cook
a dog walker
a designer
a mechanic
a writer
What would your code of conduct be?
To whom, or to what, would you be loyal?
To whom, or to what, would you be accountable?
These are powerful questions to ask yourself to help articulate your own values, so that you can live them out.
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Notes
*”From August 1934, German soldiers swore an unconditional oath of personal loyalty to Hitler, and thenceforth addressed him as ‘My Leader.’ ” (Snyder 2012, p 77)
**In the Christian understanding of love, love (as expressed by the Greek word “agape”) is behavioral, action-based; rather than a feeling. When the English word “love” is used in a church marriage vow, it is this action-based practice of love that is meant. You vow to practice loving actions, even when you’re not feeling the romance at the moment.
References
Snyder, T. (2012) Bloodlands: Europe between Hitler and Stalin. New York: Basic Books. Kindle Edition.
Sample marriage vow from: Bushkofsky, D. and Satterlee, C.A. (2008) The Christian life: Baptism and life passages. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress.
Oaths of Enlistment and Oaths of Office - U.S. Army Center of Military History (no date). Available at: https://history.army.mil/html/faq/oaths.html (Accessed: 5 August 2022).